Sir, Air-conditioned for Your Comfort

            Once my two hour visit to the Artillery School was over, the Major detailed to conduct me came out to see me off to my car. This time it was not the Army staff car, but a shining blue Mercedes with a uniformed (P-cap and all) chauffeur who looked a bit chubby and well-to-do for a chauffeur even from Australian standards.

            On seeing me approaching the car, he opened the passenger seat door for me, touched his brow in a salutary gesture and said, “Air conditioned for your comfort, sir.” I was mighty thrilled and felt like a VIP for the first time during my stay in Australia. After I secured myself with the seat belt to the front seat next to the Chauffeur, (In Australia one is expected to sit next to the driver in a taxi if alone and not take the rear seat like a ‘barah sahib’in India) he started the engine, engaged the gear and drove off.  After a while, we engaged in the following conversation.

Chauffeur          - So you are from India. You blaikes (blokes) plai (play) some damn good cricket.  This Srikant or something like that – what a graite (great) hitter he is! So what are you doing in Australia?

Me                   - I am in the Army.

Chauffeur          - I can see that – you are wearing an Army uniform. But what are you doing here?

Me                   - I am doing an Army course at Queenscliff in Victoria.

Chauffeur          - Oh, you are at good ol’ Queenscliff! What a coincidence?

Me                   - (Surprised with his level of awareness)You know Queenscliff ?

Chauffeur          - Too damn well, mite (mate). I did the sime (same) course six years ago.

Me                   - (visible more shocked now) You did the Staff Course at Queenscliff? (For me doing the Staff Course like doing MBA from Harvard) That means you were an Army officer. Why did you quit the Army?

Chauffeur          - Simple ‘rithmatic (arithmetic) mite. The Army was pyeing (paying) me 36 grand a yeer (year). Now I own this bus (car). With my contacts in the Army, I am hired out everyday. I don’t work when I don’t feel like and yet I make 80 grand a yeer. Why should I work for the Army, mite?

Who can defy his logic? And I am talking of 1986. So when today we feel cheated with OROP and Seventh CPC, it is not something unheard of. It happens in most countries whose economies move Northwards.