Australian Odyssey - My Experiences Down Under in 1986

First Day – The Medium Sized Pizzas

            I was fortunate to have gone to Australia for my Staff Course in 1986. The Australian Government was extra considerate in inviting and paying for my family’s travel expenses too as the course was for a year long duration. They also arranged a fully furnished and equipped three bed room house a gratis. The Indian Government on the other hand, was completely adamant in denying me my pay in foreign exchange (not that it would have amounted to anything substantial in Australia) or any other allowances and expected me to live off the land.

            We (self, Keerti, our six year old daughter Stuti and two year old son Ashish) landed at Tullamarine Airport, Melbourne around 7.30 a.m. on 15^th December 1985.  A Warrant Officer received us at the airport and after loading us and our two and a half suit cases in a Toyota Hi Ace eight-seater van, took the wheel and drove off. Since I was sitting in the co-driver’s seat in front, he reminded me to fasten my seat belt. Now you have to put yourself in the shoes of an Indian of 1985 who had never seen a vehicle fitted with seat belts let alone use one – it was the Pre-Maruti 800 era.) I fiddled with the belt and its parts but failed to locate the female end where the buckle could be safely locked. (This was one occasion when I missed those Weapon Training ustaads of the Army who could have educated me about how to fasten the seat belt – “Sabak ka uddeshya seat belt se pehchaan, baandhna, kholna aur paida hone wali rokon ko dur karne ka tariqa sikhana hai.”) I somehow rapped it around my body to show that I had fastened it and continued on our journey in the alien land.

            After more than an hour’s drive, our escort entered the drive way of a motel in a small town, (which I later discovered to be Ocean Grove) politely asked us to disembark (which we did), mumbled something to the bearded motel owner (which we didn’t understand) and then drove off without giving a second look at us (which we did notice). The motel owner took us to our twin-room set, showed us what was where and wished us a happy stay. We too, after our first brush with jet lag and feeling tired, decided to acquire horizontal postures and went to sleep immediately.

            On waking up, I noticed that the room clock indicated 1.0 p.m. Keerti too woke up after a while and asked me to check if the motel had anything to offer for lunch. So I walked out of our room and entered the Reception where I was confronted with a Call Bell Switch stuck horizontally on the Counter with cello tape along with printed words “Ring for Service”. On seeing no one else around, I ‘rang for service’ and was immediately confronted with by the bearded ‘owner-cum-service provider’ wishing me “Good Day, mate” (pronounced – “G’die, mite”). On my query about lunch he said no. On my next query as to where could I find it, he said that there was the pizza joint about a km from the motel. To my next query about transportation to the pizza joint, he was unexpectedly kind and offered to drive me to the place in his car, which I gladly accepted.

            The Pizza Joint had a Menu Board displaying various varieties of pizza, each available in three sizes – small, medium and large. I reasoned ‘small’ to be too small and ‘large’ to be too large for our requirement and hence settled for two medium sized veg pizzas. The person at the counter appeared surprised and asked me “Are you sure, two medium sized?” On my replying “yes” he said “Suit yourself. That would be Six dollars Ninety Eight.” I paid with a ten dollar bill, collected the change and moved aside for the order to materialize.

When the order materialized after about ten minutes, I understood the reason for the counter man’s query “Are you sure?” and comment “Suit yourself”. The pizza boxes were 16 inch square containing 15 inch diameter pizzas each. On reaching the motel back, it took me some effort to explain to Keerti that I couldn’t have guessed this stark difference between the Australian and Indian sizes before hand. The two pizzas deprived us from eating anything else for lunch or dinner for the next two days – breakfast was gratis from the motel.