First ‘Hinglish’, Now ‘Eendi’?

            Hinglish has been prevalent in India since the British Raj ('Raj' having been accepted as an English word). However, it came into its own about a decade or so ago when the upwardly mobile and the neo rich began using common Hindi words in spoken English (perhaps due to lack of awareness of the English substitute). So we had ‘hazaar’, ‘gyaan’, ‘tamasha’, ‘hungama’ etc finding their way in commonly spoken English in India.

            But now, a reverse phenomenon appears to be in vogue – using common (and even not that common) English words in not only day to day speech, but even in vernacular print media. Just take a look at the accompanying pics and go through the headlines and the following text that the camera captured. The evolution of ‘Eendi’ is clearly visible.

            Is it a natural linguistic evolution or the result of (now overt) commercial pressure on the editorial content of modern day journalism?  Take your pic.

That’s Corporal Lee’s Job

    

            My first individual official visit to Sydney Military Units (wherein I had that interesting revelation by the Mercedes chauffeur who turned out to be an ex Major) was scheduled sometimes in April (after my close encounter with the ATM). Since I was unaware of the procedure and pre-departure actions I sought and got an appointment with Maj Col Flatters the Major-in-charge Administration of the Staff College. After having a seat opposite his desk, I told him about my forthcoming visit and sought guidance from him as to how should I go about arranging it? His prompt reply was, “Have you seen Corporal Lee?”

            I told him that I intended to but thought that he (Corporal Lee) would first require instructions from the Major and then do whatever needed to be done. (As was and continues to be the case in our Army – I am not well versed with the inner systems of the Navy and the Air Force) To this the Major retorted, “It’s Corporal Lee’s job and he knows how to do it.”

            So I asked him, “Incidentally Col, what is your job?”

            I still remember his reply which I tried my best to emulate. He told me, “Mahendra, I have three responsibilities. These are – first, I am responsible to the Boss for efficient functioning of my department; second, I am responsible to lay down the policy according to which my subordinates will function while under me and third, I am responsible to ensure that they get the resources that they need in order to do their jobs efficiently. Period!”

            How crystal clear and unambiguous? I wish we too were able to function like this where the subordinates – especially at the NCO level are given their own space and self respect so as to boost their confidence and help them become good leaders at section and platoon levels. How many senior officers allow this in their units and sub units? Because of this lack of delegation of routine responsibilities and functions, we breed junior leaders who wait for orders and are hesitant to take initiative – exceptions notwithstanding.

            It was interesting to see the expression on the face of Corporal Lee (of the missing box fame which happened about six months later) when I went to him ultimately. He smiled, rolled up his eyes and said, “Sir, I was wondering when you would find time to come to me. I am sure the Major was unable to do anything for you.”

A Few Good Men (Contd.)

            This goes back to Feb 1985 when the result of my DSSC Exams was declared. I was on leave when the result came. While returning to my unit in Jalandhar (Jullunder in those days), I stopped over at Delhi to say hello to my ex-Co, Late Col Pradep Kala. (He passed away earlier this year – God rest his soul). On arrival at his house in the Princess Park Enclave, Mrs Kala greeted me & Keerti and congratulated us vigorously for having been selected to go abroad. This was news to me as I was totally unaware and couldn’t believe it. But the lady assured me that it was the truth and would be confirmed in the evening when her husband returned from office – he was posted in MI Dte.

            Sure enough, Col Kala on his return from office in the evening confirmed the news and took me to the residence of Dir MT-2 which was a few blocks away in the same complex. It was then that I met Col (Later Maj Gen CS Nugyal) for the first time. He congratulated me and showed me the official letter for derailment of offrs on foreign Staff Course that year. After I had read the letter and was convinced that I was indeed going to Australia for the Staff Course, he asked me about my reaction. I told him the truth that I thought only offrs with ‘connections’ went abroad and that I never expected it as there were three Generals’ sons in the competitive merit list and that I was a ‘nobody’ from my pedigree.

            He told me that he too thought so before he took over his present job and decided to change the perception. So he issued the ‘letter’ without getting it approved up the chain for which he was even asked to submit an explanation ‘in writing’- which he did mentioning that it was “part of his charter”. Nothing happened to him after that. Some of you may have heard of his ‘deeds’ during the infamous Sikh riots of 1984 in Delhi when he went out of his way to take to safety many Sikh soldiers on his motorcycle from the murderous mobs on the streets of Delhi.

            It was because of such people who are exceptions to the ‘system’ that I – a ‘nobody’ was able to do foreign staff course and get exposed to a totally new environment. I would like to thank all these people with an ‘exceptional’ mindset and approach who made me what ever I became while in the Army and even now after hanging up my boots. Such good people though few and far in between continue to exist and do their bit within the ‘system’ and help maintaining the morale of the rank and file.

A Few Good Men (Officers)

I along with four other offrs, visited DSSC in Sep 1985 for a two-week familiarization trip. I met Lt Gen (then Col) Shammi Mehta there for the first time. He took a couple of sessions on the Indian take on Mech Warfare for the five of us. I forgot all about him on my return to unit.

I reported to MT-16 on 01 Dec 85 for pre-departure formalities. There I was told that though the Australian Govt had booked our tickets for 13th Dec, the Govt letter authorizing me to leave the country was still taking some time. After about ten days of running abound the corridors of South Block, (which included a confrontation with a high ranking CGO of Def Finances who reminded me that he would normally not permit offrs of my rank to enter his office let alone do something for him on priority) I was informed on 11th Dec that since the Govt letter had not been signed, I should request the Australian High Commission to change my tickets to a latter date. It was ridiculous. To add to my woes, we had to shift guest rooms every three to four days as every unit which permitted us to stay did so as a ‘favour’- Keerti & kids were already at the receiving end of Delhi’s attitude.

It was with this backdrop that I was loitering about on the lawns of SP Marg (Now Battle Honours) Offrs’ Mess and cursing everyone in general but no one in particular when I spotted Col Shammi Mehta walking towards the Mess from his room. He was recently posted to Delhi as AMA to the Army Chief Gen Sundarji. Though I didn’t, he recognized me, smiled and asked as to how was I. I told him as to how I was. His reaction surprised me. He asked. “What is so and so (Dir MT-16) doing about it?” When I told him that he wanted me to go to the Australian High Commission the next day and request a change of date, he was not amused. So he asked me to meet him next morning at 0930 in his office along with Director MT-16 whom he would also contact.

Next morning when we reached his office, he foirst gave his piece of mind to Dir MT-16 and then told him to keep everything ready by evening as he would ensure that the Govt letter gets signed before then. He then took me along and walked straight to the Def Secy’s office (I vaguely remember him to be some Mishra) and apprised him about my plight. I was told to walk to the office of that high ranking Finance offr who had told me my place in South Block hierarchy a couple of days ago and collect my letter from him after about an hour. Col Shammi Mehta told me to get straight to his office on acquiring the letter which I did. He then set wheels of mil bureaucracy moving at a rather abnormal place so that by 1600 hrs I had all the documents in place. He was also vey thoughtful in inquiring as to what time was my flight the next morning and how would I go to the airport. On my replying that it was at 0700 and I had no means of getting any transport at 0300 hrs, he rang up some one and booked a ‘staff car’ for me –mind you, I had never sat in a staff car till then.

Had it not been for him – perhaps it was God’s way of helping me; I would definitely have been in the Australian High Commission with egg all over my face trying to explain them as to what necessitated last minute change of my travel plans.

So we too have our own John Grey's but few and far in between and not many would go to the extent Brig John Grey did in the position that he was in.

What Did the Australian Staff College Teach Me?

            On return from the Australian Staff College, I was posted as BM in an armoured brigade at Babina. The local military leadership summarily categorized me as unsuitable for the job on two basic counts – first which was the obvious was my being a non-armoured corps officer and the second, my having done the Australian Staff Course. The logic was like this – Camberlay does teach you a lot but Australia? C’mon, have a heart. What can it teach us? They do nothing except playing cricket, chasing kangaroos and sun bathing or surfing on the beaches. From this logic, the Army should not be sending officers there – and that too the third in the order of merit goes there and not some one just picked randomly.

            So what did I learn in Australian Staff College? Firstly, the exposure to a new environment and new thought process is itself a big teacher. By the way, what does one learn in the HC course? There the DS do no teaching at all. But still it is very prestigious and graded (till quite some time back) higher than the HDMC where there is plenty of formal teaching. We seem to have fixated ideas on every issue and view everything through the colour of our own glasses.

            Secondly, it allowed everyone to learn and grow as per hi/her own ambitions/priorities and pace. Having been a SI in the DSSC and overseen a full course, I am of the opinion that our staff college puts a student through a rigid assembly line type of process where the product has no choice but to go through the process without realizing or feeling as to what he is going through. The product is graded six times by the line supervisors and stamped fit for staff at various levels based on their own perceptions. The Australian Staff Course (which incidentally, was a Command and Staff Course and NOT the Staff Course alone as is ours) allowed me to grow as an officer as well as an individual. It was pitched at much higher level than ours because of their own requirements where their BMs and DQs get trained at Camberlay but they need staff officers to function at their Army Office in Canberra. There was lot of emphasis on paper writing of which there were eight and each required considerable research. If I can express myself clearly today, it is due to the grooming that I got in the Australian Staff College. There was a DS from AEC who was a language expert. It appeared quite strange to me initially but later, when I realized the importance of language skills for a staff officer, I understood the rationale behind it.

            Thirdly, The DS there gave full opportunity to the student officers to discuss and give their opinions without fear – in fact they encouraged us to dissent with the official line and prove them wrong. This happens to be a major weakness in our training establishments where the students are taught to think in a formatted manner.

            Fourthly, I learnt that one has to strike a balance in life where work is not everything - family is equally important. It was the Commandant himself who considered it important enough for the students that he decided to talk on the issue formally.  Do our DS advise the students at middle and senior levels as such?

            Fifthly, I was made to introduce guest speakers like any other Australian officer on my turn – it was immaterial whether the speaker was Australian, British, American or from any other country. Student officers are encouraged to carry out their own research about the speaker, prepare and deliver his/her introduction with equality of opportunity. In our Staff College, it is always the privilege of the Commandant only to introduce a guest speaker.

            Sixth, one was encouraged to ask difficult questions from senior political and military leadership. When the Defence Minister was to visit and speak to us, the Commandant himself asked the student officers to ask him all the difficult questions and not to let him go back scot free. It is another matter that being he shrewd politician that he was, he easily succeeded in deflecting the questions but maintaining a welcoming smile on his face all the time.

            Seventh, having toured the entire country and viewed it from different perspectives, I understood the intricacies of force structuring for a trading continent nation of that size. The strategic environment is totally different from that of ours and hence the emphasis on maritime surveillance and aerial interception with the last priority to ground forces.

            Friends, there are many more but I could think of only these after so many years. To succumb to the temptation for condemning the unfamiliar is very easy, but to dwell deeper into it requires research, knowledge and understanding. I wish these aspects are also form part of the ‘design of battle’ at our training establishments. 

Tyre Burst in Ballarat

            We had two week-long breaks during the one year course in Australia. Since we had visited Sydney during the first break in April, we decided to go to Adelaide during the second in September. I have already mentioned about my 1969 Toyota Corona. It became clear tome by September that it was not fit for long distance travel – Adelaide is approx. 750 km from Queenscliff. So I decided to hire a car. Considering my limited budget, I settled for the smallest hatchback @ 35 A $ a day from Budget Rent a Car.

            On the day of our travel, I reached the agency in Geelong at 8 in the morning and kept my Jalandhar made DL at the counter as required by law. The girl at the counter picked it up, examined it, then looked at me and asked, “Sir, What is this?” (If you remember, in those days, the handmade DLs – especially from Punjab, Haryana, U.P. and Bihar, used to look like discarded mini diaries.) So I told her as to what it was – a driving license. She then paraphrased her query, “Sir, I cannot read anything in it and the photograph also doesn’t resemble you.” So I told her that even I couldn’t read what was written on it.” (It was in Gurumukhi) She then asked me if I had a local Australian ID, which I had –an Australian Defence Force ID. She appeared to be satisfied with it as the photograph on it definitely resembled me. So she let me have the car.

While taking over the car, I noticed that the boot had a plain carpeted surface and the spare wheel, which was awkwardly visible in my Toyota, was apparently missing from it.  Due to the fear of being considered a novice, I did not clarify this nagging doubt from the dealer, put our bags in the boot, kids in the back seat and Keerti in the front, I drove off on the Ballarat Highway.   

            Since this was the first almost new car that I ever drove, I started enjoying the maximum permitted speed of 100 kmph and reached the outskirts of Ballarat – about 100 km away - in a jiffy. Since there was very little traffic at that early hour, I continued at 100 kmph and soon encountered a roundabout. The roundabout was designed for city speed limits – 60 kmph and refused to let the car stay on its road which, due to the centrifugal force generated by the curve, climbed the curb on the left. I heard a bang, my steering wavered and I applied brakes instinctively bringing the car to a halt – the two right wheels on the road and the left ones on the curb. Luckily, the kids were also secured with seat belts and child restraint and were safe. I got out of the car, did my inspection of the tyres and realized that the left front tyre had collapsed completely. This was quite strange to me as I had not heard of tubeless tyres and was not aware that they were fitted in the car that I had hired.

            You can easily imagine my state – I knew how to and could change the flat wheel but didn’t know where to find the spare wheel. On top of this, Keerti was, as usual, passing her scathing remarks on my deplorable habit of showing off and not asking someone what I didn’t know. Luckily, the children were not grown up enough to also emulate their mother.

On looking around, I discovered that I had managed to do what I did right opposite a gas station which was astride the opposite lane across the road. So I walked across, and gave intelligent looks to no one in particular till I found a person in blue overalls approach me. So I asked him if he could help me change the flat tyre of my car. I still don’t know as to how and why did he agree to help but he did. So in order to hide my ignorance about location of the spare wheel, I requested him to remove it from the boot while I loosened the wheel nuts in front. On sighting the spare wheel which the Good Samaritan took out from somewhere inside the boot, I heaved a sigh of relief. After changing the tyre, and keeping everything back in the boot (which permitted me to erase my ignorance about the tyre’s location) I asked him as to would I get a new tyre. He told me that a couple of kilometers further ahead on the same road, I would find the local office of ‘Budget’ who would do the needful. I thanked him and drove off. Sure enough, the ‘Budget’ office was a little ahead on the road and I pulled over in front of it.

When I approached the person at the counter with my car hire papers from Geelong and told him that I had a flat tyre, he looked puzzled and queried, “Sir, the car had new tyres.  How did you manage to get one flat with in 100 kms?” (What impressed me most in Australia – and it does even now when I go to the US, as to how people address you as ‘sir’ even at the most provocative and frustrating situations!) Now, I couldn’t tell him the actual reason, so I lied and concocted some improbable story about a sharp edged stone on the road. He didn’t seem convinced but took my word for it. He then handed over a signed slip to me and directed me to visit the Dunlop agency close by for getting a new tyre. I did exactly that and was able to resume my journey of which 650 kms were still balance within an hour of the incident of flat tyre – which was pretty cool. 

Parting Shot - Lesson in Integrity

            After ‘marching out’ of (handing over) our house on the penultimate day of our stay in Australia, we moved to the Point Lonsdale Motel for overnight stay before wishing the area good bye and catching our flight from Melbourne for our return journey home. Since we had quite a bit of accompanied baggage with us, I had specifically requested the MCO for a Toyota Hi Ace van to take us to Tullamrine airport in Melbourne.

On the next morning after a good breakfast, we were ready to move to the airport at 9.00 a.m. as the flight was at 12.00 noon and the driving time to the airport about two hrs. When we were waiting for the van, we saw Brig John & Mrs Helen Grey (The Commandant and his wife) drive into the motel premises in their silver Merc. They had come to say good bye to us at the motel – it was a Sunday. While we were exchanging pleasantries, a Ford Falcon staff car drove in and parked next to us. The driver – an Army Sergeant, got out and asked for me by that typical Aussie pronunciation – “Mijor Kooshwaha?” The Brigadier had seen our accompanied baggage in the lobby and rightly inferred that it would in no case fit in the staff car. So he asked me as to how would I go. I told him that I had booked a van to which he replied that these things happened not only in India but Australia too. He also informed me that exactly the same thing had happened with him too when he was to go to Camberlay for his Staff Course some years ago. I then told him that I would call the MCO and request for a van. Then he said, “Mahindra, you have been here for a year now but have still not digested the fact that it is Australia during the Christmas vacations. To top that, it happens to be a Sunday! No one would answer the phone – let alone react to my rather untimely request.”

I then suggested to him that perhaps the duty van of the College can be detailed for our trip to the airport. It is reply to this and his actions thereafter which I want every senior officer in the Indian Armed Forces to digest and note. He said, “I could do that very easily but the vehicle is NOT to be employed beyond an 8 km radius from the College as per my own orders. If I relax them in this case, others would have an excuse to do so whenever it suited them in future. Ok, let us see what I can do. The driver of my staff car has gone for fishing. So I can’t call him. But my staff car would be in the MT Park all topped up. I have the privilege to sign for it and take it out myself. Ok, let us go to MT in my Mercedes which I will park there and come back in my staff car. This way, I will not have to spend my own petrol.”

I couldn’t believe what he had just told me. So I asked just to confirm, “Sir, you will drive us all the way to Melbourne airport?” (Mind you, it was 125 km away!) He quipped, “Otherwise you miss your flight.”

So he drove us to the MT Park while Mrs Grey stayed back with Keerti & kids. After parking his car there, he signed for his staff car and drove back to the motel. There we fitted ourselves and our ‘accompanied’ baggage in two staff cars and travelled to Tullmarine airport – the Sergeant’s car leading and the Commandant following. Those of you who have doubts about this episode, I am attaching a pic of us at the airport with the Commandant and his graceful lady wife.

The Commandant Brig J.C.Grey rose to become the Chief of Australian Army as a three star general. During my last trip to Australia in 2013, I found that he is settled in Cairns, QLD where he runs his management consultancy.

Now the question I would like to pose to all my Services brethren is that which Commandant of which Defence training establishment in our country would even think of a personal farewell visit to an overseas student officer, let alone doing what Brig John Grey did for us? This was the benchmark of morals and ethics that I got exposed to and tried to live up to during my days as a senior officer in the Army. We have so many talks by esteemed guest speakers in DSSC, CDM and HC courses on Morals and Ethics. Do the speakers have any idea what true morals and ethics mean? I wish some of the future speakers read this and take a cue from it.